last01standing: ([SGA] Sheppard)
[personal profile] last01standing
Title: Missing Cues
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: SGA
Words: 950
Disclaimer: Not for profit
Summary: “So you're not actually Kirk then?”
Author's note: The ace!Sheppard fic. Intended for Asexual Awareness week though I'm a day late.

Missing Cues

Teyla approaches him before the trip to the mainland. It’s the first time they’ve gone without an accompanying team. “It is necessary for me to warn you that many of my people will interpret our relationship in a very specific manner.”

“It’s a pretty good relationship,” Sheppard says, running through the jumper’s start up sequences. “One of my favorites.”

“They will understandably interpret it in a romantic light.”

The HUD flashes red for just a moment before Sheppard regains control. “But it’s not.”

“I have been in Atlantis for nearly a year now. For my people relocation of a permanent nature is primarily done when one has procured a lover. The two stay together in an effort to begin building new family ties. The first year visitation is done to confirm the pair is well matched.”

“I’ve read the SGC mission reports. Did I accidentally get married? Because that happens sometimes.” Sheppard swallows. “And well, Teyla, you’re… one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. Anyone would be lucky to—“

“It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable,” Teyla says. “I am on Atlantis because I feel that it is my best chance to make a difference in the fight against the wraith. While I would not have been adverse to a different relationship when we first met, I understand why this has not come to pass.”

John opens his mouth but the words don’t come.

“It is all right, John,” Teyla says. “We are as family. I do not want anything more.”


“This is very strange,” Beckett says, examining the molecular structure. “The compound’s method of action seems to be primarily dermal, meaning Colonel Sheppard should have been affect by Lucius just like the rest of us, head cold or no.”

Sheppard claps him on the back. “Must have just got lucky. Let’s just chalk it up to a medical mystery and forget any of this ever happened.”

“I second that,” McKay calls from across the room. “I’m going to add it to the list.”


Elizabeth doesn’t ask until they’re back on Earth, Atlantis lost from them for good. They’re no longer in positions of command and she doesn’t have Simon, doesn’t have Pegasus. She knows John feels just as untethered.

She’s not good at small talk so she skips it, just corners him in the SGC, pushes him up against a wall and kisses him hard. She expects muscle memory to take over. The ghost of the two entities that had possessed them a year ago had explosive chemistry even through the rage. It would be just as good, she imagined. Better even.

When John finally responds it’s like he’s following a script, hands moving haltingly to cup her cheek, body held carefully to minimize contact. She knows in that instant that he loves her. That he will give her what she wants if she continues to push. Because no matter how many notes about the tendency to disobey authority figures are in his file, John is not someone to skirt what he sees as duty.

She pulls away. “This isn’t going to work, is it?”

He doesn’t seem able to form the words, but he swallows and finally says, “I don’t think I’d be good for you.”

Elizabeth catches his arm before he can escape. “John,” she says. “I'm sorry. It's a bad situation. I shouldn't have just done this without asking.”

John looks at her for a long moment and then presses his forehead against her in the Athosian greeting of choice. “We’ll get back one day.”

She recognizes the gesture for what it means. They’re family, and they don’t belong in this galaxy.

The next time she sees him, they stage a rescue mission to Pegasus.


“So,” Ronon says. “You don’t like women.”

Sheppard starts, his eyes flickering to the exits. “Ronon! I know Elizabeth’s explained the regs to you. You can’t be saying that kind of thing where someone might be listening.”

“Wouldn’t affect you anyway,” Ronon says. “You don’t like men either.”


The first time McKay notices it, they’re on a backwater planet, the entire team dosed with the most potent aphrodisiac he’s ever experienced. He’s got his hands under the shirt of a beautiful native who’s been eyeing him for the last three days. Teyla’s hand tangled in Ronon’s hair and John…

John’s politely rebuking the advances of the chieftain’s daughter, the glass of wine in his hand well past half gone. There is smoke heavy in the air. They’d discussed participation in this ritual, one of the few times they’ve been forewarned by their trading partners. Teyla had shrugged and said, “It is a celebration of life.”

Ronon had smiled over the smoke giving his own consent. Apparently it’s standard operating procedure for the Pegasus galaxy to donate strong genes to neighboring planets.

And McKay, well, McKay’s not one to turn down sex.

Sheppard though, his face goes tight as he says, “Guess I’ve been overruled.”

He’s takes the ceremonial drink with the rest of them and spends the night politely steering all suitors toward the more willing partners.

In the morning, The chieftain claps Sheppard’s hand and remarks on his impressive self-control. They leave for Atlantis with four extra bushels of the Pegasus Galaxy’s Not-Quite-Coffee.

“So,” McKay says on the ride back home as they're all composing their highly editing mission reports, “you’re not actually Kirk then?”

Sheppard shakes his head. “Not even slightly.”


In his dark room, John Sheppard closes his eyes and reaches out to feel the city humming through his veins. He thinks of his team, Atlantis, and how for the first time in his life he doesn’t feel alone.

(no subject)

28/10/13 06:33 (UTC)
gladdecease: ("air quotes")
Posted by [personal profile] gladdecease
Yes. Yes! Yeeeees.

Ignore Sheppard being uncomfortable in my icon - it's just about the only SGA one I've got - this is great! You know I subscribe to that same headcanon, so I always love to see fic for it. I think this is the first time I've seen someone apply it to "Irresistible", though, which was unexpected and fantastic.

FYI, I think you're missing a "not" somewhere in the Elizabeth section.

(no subject)

28/10/13 17:35 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
Sheppard's default state is uncomfortable despite how much slouching he does. (There should be more Ace Sheppard. I've read a fair amount, but in a lot of them Sheppard spends half the time getting it on and that kind of rubs me the wrong way.)

Ack this is why you wait a day before posting instead of having a beer while you edit. Thanks.

(no subject)

28/10/13 09:40 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]

Okay, so honestly, I write a lot of fic that ships Sheppard and he has sexy times with other people, so I don't want it seem weird that I'd comment here? But I really can 100% see John Sheppard being an ace. And I have SERIOUS love for anything that raises awareness for asexuality (or anything under the asexual/greysexual umbrella).

I also like the statement in the section with Elizabeth that "she knows in that instant that he loves her." That you've separated out love and sex, making it clear that asexuality doesn't mean that people can't fall in love or something. (Of course, I've shipped a lot of John/Elizabeth in the last few years, so it's entirely possible you meant that sort of as a 'he loves her like family' thing, and I just read way too much into it. Shipper glasses, and all. But in any event, it gives me warm fuzzies because YES WE CAN ALL BE HAPPY, WE CAN BE FAMILY).

This isn't something I've encountered in fic before, actually, but I just suppose I haven't been paying attention. I'm writing a novel where a main character is asexual (who has a lot of inspirations in Sheppard's character, actually), but I'd never thought of asexuality in fic. In offline life, though, I have argued for acceptance and education on these things passionately. So reading this fic just made me burst with happiness. I mean, just absolutely bursting. I might have even squealed when John said, "Not even slightly." And then he feels the city and his team and he doesn't feel alone. <3

Your writing is very good! I love John's awkward "Did I accidentally get married?" with Teyla, his stuttered, nervous conversation with Ronon in the hallway, and the banter with Rodney at the end ("So, you're not actually Kirk?").

I just love love love you for writing this. If I had known there was an awareness week going on I would have written something (for a different fandom, but still). You know what. I don't even care that I'm late. Maybe it'll just have to be two or three days late. You've inspired me with this. This is so PERFECT and BELIEVABLE and AMAZING. Maybe I'll try writing a late story myself.

(no subject)

28/10/13 17:38 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
John Sheppard is one of only a handful of characters I've ever really read as ace and more than that he's pretty much the only character who I can see as ace in canon who feels like a real live person to me. I love him dearly and it's always hugely comforting to know I'm not the only one who can see him. I've always kind of thought he was madly in love with his entire team and never once had a sexual thought about it.

Heh, you seem to be in the complete opposite boat as me because the first time I ever heard about asexuality was through fandom. It was one of those lightning bolt moments. Like, hold on this is a thing? Why did no one ever explain to me that this was a thing? So yeah, there's a tumblr tag that goes #ace awareness fanwork that you may enjoy. There are a few of us posting things and it's kind of glorious to see.

Oddly enough I've also got a MC in an original novel who is ace. I feel like every time I've seen an asexual character in fiction, the author's using it as a dehumanizing factor or to add some aloofness. It's about time there was some more representation on this front from people who don't feel so damn alien. I look forward to eventually reading your novel. =)

(and you should DEFINITELY fic more ace people. Who cares what fandom? We need more of it out there. Drop me a link when you do. I'd love to read it.)

(no subject)

11/2/14 05:56 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
I was just discussing this fic over on Tumblr with someone (and I'm going to share the link with them, if that's okay with you). It occurred to me while discussing it with them that I never came back here and told you how it made me feel. So... apologies if this makes you feel uncomfortable or anything. I really only want to convey my gratitude. (I can delete the comment after posting it and making sure you get it)

I myself am an an ace, and had never seen asexuality written about in any fandom before. Ever. Never represented in a show. Never depicted in media. Nada. So when I read this, I can't even describe how it made me feel. I had a genuine freakout (not in a bad way!). I realized all at once that it was a thing I desperately wanted to see more of, and had been missing so much when I would be looking for any kind of romance fic in any fandom out there (and that maybe I would have felt more comfortable in my own skin all of this time if I'd realized that there are people out there that actually get asexuality and don't think we're sick, traumatized, or in need of a cure). This fic made me cry and I had (and still have) all the feels over it. And it really just made my heart so happy to realize that this character that I've loved and cherished so much over the years is just like me (even if I'd never actually realized it before). It was like an anvil smacking me in the head: No wonder I'd always been drawn to Sheppard's character. He and I were alike!

Thanks to you and your writing this, I branched out and found that aces are actually represented (somewhat) in various fandoms, and now I can find people who feel and act like me in the works of fiction I read--something I had always been looking for but kind of unconsciously figured I would never really find (so I settled for the usual stuff). And I can't even tell you how happy it makes me and my heart celebrates each and every one.

Your ace awareness fic really helped out this ace, who had no idea there were works out there that even included her. So for that, thank you. Thank you so much. Writing stuff like this matters because people like me can accidentally stumble upon it and have these moments. So really, thank you. Maybe you meant it for people who weren't ace (or not, I don't know!), but I just really don't have any words. *HUGS* Thank you.

I never got around to writing anything fast enough for the awareness week like I had wanted to do all of a sudden after reading your fic (after realizing it was a thing), but future ace fic will happen from me! *salutes* And as requested, I'll drop you a line when I get around to it. :)

(no subject)

11/2/14 23:37 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
...This is literally the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my writing. Thank you. (also for the record, [ profile] last01standing=[ profile] trolllogicfics=Tumblr!last01standing (

Hope you don't mind I'm going to friend you with this journal as well and post the rest of the reply that tumblr ate with character limits to your messages.
Edited 11/2/14 23:37 (UTC)

(no subject)

28/10/13 23:24 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
Aaaaah, excellent. Excellent. I love what you did with the Lucius debacle, and how completely casual Ronon is about all of this, and Elizabeth being awesome about it, and the continuous acknowledgement of family. Just. Everything about this. Ace!Sheppard is the best Sheppard, and your in particular is especially awesome.

(no subject)

29/10/13 00:20 (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile]
What makes me happiest during the accidental Atlantis rewatch isn't the fact that it's easy to read Sheppard as ace but more the fact that the Team seems to understand. Just. I can't with these people. Sheppard and Teyla are my favorite friendship ever and Ronon considers Sheppard his dorky little brother and him and McKay accidentally became bffs with him when no one was looking all while John and Elizabeth co-parent Atlantis. AND EVERYONE LOVES EVERYONE ELSE AND IT'S NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL. Er I do however appear to ship Ronon and Teyla. When the hell did that happen?

God it's been a long ass time since a fandom grabbed me like this. Not since early, early supernatural. I really wish it was still active. =(