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last01standingTitle: My Brain Slug
Rating: PG
Timeframe: Sometime in Scrubs season six. No real spoilers outside the basic premise for Animorphs.
Summary: So Turk just extracted a brain slug from a patient, JD’s being stalked by a red-tailed hawk and Cox has been acting a little different. Not exactly your average day at Sacred Heart. [Crossover with Animorphs]
Disclaimer: I own nothing from either of the shows. This is for fun, not profit.
Author's Note: HTML doesn't like standard thought speak format. Instead, I've elected to use these: { }
My Brain Slug
Here’s the thing about life at the hospital--the patients, the people, the work—after a while it all starts to seem the same. And even when out of the ordinary things start to happen, sometimes it takes us a little while to notice.
I caught up with Turk when he was coming out of surgery trying to get to our customary two AM second cup of joe break. We were both nearing the middle of our long nights on call and neither of us had a chance to catch some shut-eye. My pneumonia patient had taken a turn for the worse and Turk was coming off a long surgery, one that hadn’t gone well. I could see the slightly panicked, ‘something big bad and bloody just went down’ look on his face, but unfortunately my brain couldn’t comprehend human speech before consumption of my caramel mocha latte.
“And I’m telling you, dude. She had a freaking slug wrapped around her brain.”
Stop, blink. Rewind.
“She had a what now, Chocolate Bear?”
“A slug,” Turk repeated. “Wrapped around her brain. We had to cut the thing out to get to the good stuff. There should not be bugs in people, dude. What kind of freaky ass parasite latches on to the brain?”
“Well,” I said, “Maybe it could have been—“
“JD,” Turk interrupted me, “If brain slugs commonly latch onto people’s brains, PLEASE don’t tell me.”
“Sure thing, CB!” I said and then drifted up and off thinking about why a parasite might attack the brain...
The evil fiendishly bearded brain slug cackled with maniac glee as I tried to go about narration of the day’s activities and I could’t. The slug kept eating all the words.
Turk poked me in the side. “JD. JD! You know you’re not allow to go off like that when I’m having a work related freak out!”
I adopted Kong-fu position number twenty-seven. “I will not let you eat my inner monologue!”
“No one wants to eat your inner monologue,” Turk said soothingly. He’s a good friend. “What I want is to find out why there was a slug wrapped around this lady’s brain.”
We were headed back into the hospital. The customary two AM second cup of joe break only ever lasted seconds. Nights on call were always more interesting then you thought they were going to be. Even on a slow night there was always plenty of work.
Tonight was not a slow night.
Dr. Cox’s whistle pierced the air and I turned so fast I almost spilled all my coffee. Turk said, “Dude, Pavlov!”
I was not a trained dog, damn it!
Dr. Cox whistled again. Louder this time. “Newbie, come.”
Screw it, I was so a trained dog. But then again when Dr. Cox whistled like that, all mere mortals were forced to obey. It wasn’t not just me. Only... it sort of was. Dr. Cox didn’t really pull out the whistle for anyone but me. Maybe he used to, but I was the only one who jumped to obey anymore.
Dr. Cox tucked a battered old whistle into my hands. “This is your whistle. I want you to keep it close to your heart when I’m gone. Promise me you’ll wait for me?”
He slung an old brown sack over his shoulder. He was dressed like one of those old Civil War soldiers with dirty brown slacks, an equally dirty cap and a musket at his side.
I was wearing a dress.
Damn it! He’d infected my psyche! I was even a girl in my daydreams!
There was the whistle again. I snapped back to reality without even a second thought.
“Dear God, Rochelle, I know it’s getting close to prom and all the good boys are taken but gosh, I’m sure the right guy will sweep you off your feet with half a dozen roses and daddy’s borrowed car, but in the meantime can we step back and remember that you’re supposed to be a doctor? People’s lives depend on you! I mean for God’s sake, JD—“
He kept going, but my brain had come to a screeching halt. JD. Dr. Cox just called me JD. Dr. Cox never called me JD. Oh God, someone must have died. Or worse, maybe he was dying! Or maybe he’d finally decided he cares about me after all and is tired of putting up such a—
“What have I told you about drifting off into space when I’m talking to you, Dixie? Did you even hear a word I said?”
“No,” I replied before my brain could remind me just how bad an idea that was. “Not a word.”
Dr. Cox growled.
I squeaked.
Robocox had me in his sights. I couldn’t move because he had my trapped in his tractor beam. “Exterminate!” Dr. Cox bellowed.
“Wait!” I pleaded.
He didn’t wait. Red lasers shot out of his eyes and my head blew up and splattered the floor in blotchy red pieces. The janitor sidled over, leaning on his mop. “Hey!” he said, mildly annoyed. “I had dibs on Scooter!”
“I wonder if he would clean the floor?”
Dr. Cox swiped at his nose, snarled again and then stalked off in the distance, his white lab coat swirling back behind him. I blinked. I was still alive. That was weird. No rant, no girls names.
“Bambi!”
“Carla!” I trotted over to the nurse’s station. “Carla! I think there’s something wrong with Dr. Cox!”
Carla snorted. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Bambi, but there’s always something wrong with Dr. Cox. Don’t worry about it.”
“But he called me JD!” I said. “Right in the middle of a rant!”
“Believe it or not, Dr. Cox does know your actual name.”
“He’s called me JD once to my face. Once. In six years. I think there might really be something wrong.”
“JD,” Carla said tightly. She wasn’t supposed to be here today but two other nurses had called in sick and she’d been the only one available to take up the slack. Between the job and Izzy, she wasn’t someone to mess with. “You’ve drawn the extra patient. She just got back from surgery.”
“Brain Slug Lady!” I cried, snatching the chart from Carla. I shouldn’t be this excited. The patient had been involved in a hit and run that left her with abnormal swelling in the brain. They’d had to do surgery to relieve the pressure and in the process they had discovered the bizarre gray slug wrapped around her brain. I frowned “The only kind of brain parasite I can think of is Toxoplasma gondii, but they’re protozoa not brain slugs and they don’t even present major symptoms. If it’s not T. gondii., we’re lucky we found it. Who knows what it could have been doing to her.”
“She’s not that lucky,” Carla said. “You only found it because she came in with major head trauma. She was in a hit and run. I don’t know about you but I’d rather walk around with a slung in my head then get—“ she paused, curling her lips in disgust. “Wait, no I wouldn’t. This is too gross for me.”
Brain Slug Lady hadn’t regained consciousness. I went into her room and checked her vitals hoping to find some sort of clue to why she had a freaking brain slug. My pager beeped. I glanced down. Mr. Stokes was coding. I took off at a run.
And it seemed like I was running for the rest of the night. It had been a while since we’d had a night this busy. Usually I managed to catch at least an hour of sleep in the on call room, but tonight I barely managed to catch ten minutes. I didn’t even get a chance to check back on Brain Slug Lady who had thankfully managed to remain stable for the entirety of the night.
I made my escape at five AM during the only slow moment of the night. I yawned as I mounted my scooter, Sasha, and made my way back to my half-acre.
It was still mostly dark and the roads for the most part were empty. I was having a hard time staying awake and it was probably a sign of my exhaustion that I was suddenly absolutely positive I was being watched. When I stopped at the stoplight, I glanced over my shoulder expecting to see either a car or a pedestrian or a giant killer robot or something.
What I saw was a bird. A very large bird with a pretty red tail eyeing me with sinister yellow eyes. Which was more then slightly worrisome considering I was pretty sure that that kind of bird tended to hunt in the day. I turned my eyes back to the road. Sleep deprived hallucinations. Never a good sign.
I made it to my half acre and chained up Sasha, thankful that the old Queens had left my deck for greener pastures. I unzipped my tent, eager to pull out my sleeping back and crash when I chanced another look behind me.
The hawk was there, staring at me from the roof of the house across the street. That was weird. And possibly really bad news.
The Janitor held out an arm and allowed the bird to flutter onto it. “All right there, Birdie,” he said. “Remember our plan. Corner him while he sleeps and go for the eyes.”
I shook myself out of the fantasy. “The janitor will not have my eyes for trophies!”
I zipped the tent all the way up before rolling out my sleeping bag. I’m pretty sure most hawks can’t work zippers with their beaks.
Sleep passed in the blink of an eye and when I woke up, the sun was casting strange shadows through my tent. I rubbed at my eyes, rolled over, unzipped my tent door and checked outside.
The bird was still there, closer now. It was perched on the edge of my deck rather then the house across the street. I zipped the tent shut again in a panic and pulled out my phone to text for reinforcements:
CB. Am being stalked by a bird. HELP.
I wait anxiously for four whole minutes before I get the reply: Am not falling 4 that again.
Curse last week’s prank! When will I learn that trained doves weren’t worth the effort?
I peeked out of my tent, eyeing the hawk. “I know you’ve been following me,” I said, completely forgetting that it was you know, insane to talk to birds. “I’ve got my eye on you, Birdie.”
{ Birdie? } echoed a voice that really didn’t sound like the voice usually living in my head. { He did not just call me a birdie. }
My eyes widened. I was being stalked by a talking bird. I was being stalked by a talking bird and last night Dr. Cox had called me JD and had the entire world going crazy or was it just me?
“You can talk,” I said dumbly.
{ Crap, } the bird said. {You heard that?} He waited for my ensuing nod. { Jake is going to kill me. }
“Is Jake your pigeon leader?”
I got the very distinct image of a bird rolling its eyes at me in response. { First of all, I’m a red-tailed hawk. You can call me Tobias. If you call me a birdie again, I will have polar bears attack you in your sleep. That is not a joke. }
Don’t think of being eaten by polar bears. Don’t think of being eaten by polar bears. Don’t think of being eaten by polar bears. Crap! Stupid brain. Quick say something to the distract from the images!
“Why are you following me?”
I suddenly got a very weird mental image of a hawk trying to shrug. { Look,} Tobias said. { This is all going to sound completely insane but, we really need your help. }
“I’m talking to a red-tailed hawk, it really can’t get much worse then that.”
I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. { Fine. We need your help fighting off an alien invasion. }
Awesome! Aliens are totally real! I mentally did a little dance. Turk totally owed me twenty dollars. You know, if he accepted a talking red-tailed hawk as a credible source. I didn’t know why he wouldn’t...
{ Are you OK, man? }
“Peachy,” I said, clearing my throat. “Alien invasion, huh? What do these guys look like? Are they little gray men because I always thought it would be way cooler if they had lots and lots of tentacles.”
{ They’re called yeerks, } Tobias said, an oddly serious note creeping into his mental voice. I shuttered involuntarily. { They crawl in through the ear canal and wrap themselves around your brain. Once a yeerk gets into you, there’s nothing you can do. Every thought, every word, every action, they control it all. The worst part is no one notices a thing. }
“Evil brain slug,” I muttered.
Tobias stopped mid-explanation. { Wait, you know this part already? }
“There was a brain slug yesterday. They removed it when they were operating on this lady’s brain.”
{ We’ve been following her for weeks now! The yeerks are planning something big and she’s involved. }
“That’s why you need my help,” I realized. “You want me to get you in to see her.”
________________________________________________________________________
It turned out to be a little more complicated then that. Mainly because there were these supposed Controllers that had infiltrated the world and if the controllers knew Brain Slug Lady was currently yeerkless bad things would go down. Possibly involving bigger, more threatening aliens, which Tobias informed me was way more scary then cool.
So, operation Help the Talking Bird Save the Planet. Part A was getting Turk to keep the brain slug thing under wraps. And it was in full swing.
“Um, Turk?” I said, sidling up to him. “This is going to sound really, really strange, but you know how I told you I was being stalked by a red-tailed hawk?” I wait for Turks nod before taking a deep breath. “I wasn’t kidding.”
“A red tailed hawk?” Turk asked. “Seriously? What do you think the janitor took up bird training just to torment you?”
“I considered it,” I answered. “But then it started talking to me.”
“JD,” Turk said seriously, laying a hand on my shoulder. “Does it tell you to do things? Because I know you have some crazy day dreams but they aren’t supposed to be little birdies who talk back.”
“His name is Tobias,” I said gesturing to the window. “And he really doesn’t like being called a birdie.”
Tobias was hovering just outside the window. Turk’s eyes practically bugged out of their sockets. Hmmm....
Turk’s jaw dropped abruptly as both eyes popped out of their sockets, rolling across the floor before coming to a halt against my shoe. I bent over, picked one up and popped one into my mouth.
“Jelly filled eyeballs,” I muttered thoughtfully.
“Dude,” Turk said slowly. “You remember how badly the trained doves turned out, right? What the hell made you think a hawk was going to be any better?”
“He’s a talking hawk, not a trained hawk,” I clarified. “Say hi, Tobias.”
{ Hey, } Tobias said.
“Dude,” Turk said.
I smiled. Part A was practically a guaranteed success.
________________________________________________________________________
Part B was all in Turk’s court. He went down to the lab and managed to help Franklin misplace the brain slug specimen. He talked with the other surgeons on the team so he could convince them that the brain slug incident had never happened. I didn’t know how he planned to convince them of a mass hallucination, but I trust my CB.
My part of the plan, part C, was far more complicated. Somehow, I was supposed to sneak the hawk into the building so he could interview Brain Slug Lady. Last I checked, Kelso was highly against birds in the hospital so it was going to be a pretty tough job.
There was a rapping at the door. I looked over to see a scrawny looking kid with floppy dark blonde hair and an army surplus wardrobe. He was only about fifteen, but he looked like he’d been through a war. “Hey,” he said, just a little thickly. “They told me I could come see my aunt. He name’s Mary Becker? This is the room, right?”
I glanced down at Brain Slug Lady’s chart. “We didn’t know she had any family,” I said.
“It’s just me,” the kid said. “She’s been looking after me for a long time.”
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. There was something weird about this kid. Maybe it was the way he didn’t seem quite comfortable with speaking or the way his face didn’t seem capable of making any expression or maybe how he kept glancing toward the window as if planning a great escape. “What’s your name, kid?”
“Oh,” the kid said. “It’s Tobias. Tobias Becker.”
It took me a second, but I’d heard that voice before and I knew where. The hawk. I started at the kid. “This is going to sound crazy,” I told him. “But aren’t you a bird?”
The kid didn’t even blink. “Only most of the time.”
Right. I was talking to a person who was usually a bird and just so happened to be one of the people responsible for a fighting an all out war against the brain slug invaders. That was completely normal. “You might want to pull up a chair,” I said. “It could be a while.”
Tobias didn’t give me any sign of affirmation, but took the suggestion with a slightly clumsy hand and sat beside the Brain Slug Lady, staring at her with hawkish intensity. I absently flipped through her chart. I was going to need to accidentally lose the part about the brain slug sometime down the line...
A quick series of whistles invaded my consciousness as Dr. Cox strode into the room. Tobias looked up at the newcomer with the barest hint of curiosity. “Heard you had a tough one here, Newbie,” he said.
My grip on the chart tightened just a little. “I’m doing fine. I don’t need any help.”
“Daytona, you always need my help, now hand it over.”
I reluctantly parted with the Brain Slug Lady’s chart. Dr. Cox flipped through it quickly, and shook his head. “You can’t figure this one out, Newbie? Come on, put that squishy pink thing that resides in your cranium to use. Asides from the obvious head trauma, the lady was obviously suffering from acute toxoplasmosis. JD, you know this.”
It wasn’t just the name this time. Something was wrong. Dr. Cox never made mistakes like this. “Dr. Cox,” I said cautiously. “There’s no way she was suffering from acute toxoplasmosis. That only present in cases where the immune system is already weak. She doesn’t have AIDs. She hasn’t been on chemo. She doesn’t have swollen lymph nodes.” I swallowed. “You’re wrong about this one.”
Behind me, Tobias was watching Cox with a gaze that strongly resembled his other body. { JD, } he told me mentally. { I think your friend there is a controller. }
I knew it! Well I didn’t actually know he had an evil brain slug controlling his ever movement, but still! No way normal Cox ever called me JD without someone dying. I almost started doing my JD Was Right victory dance right there in Brain Slug Lady’s room and then I remembered:
Oh crap. Dr. Cox was possessed by an evil brain slug bent on world domination.
Double crap!
“Shirley,” the brain slug said in Cox’s I’m Going to Rant at You Now voice. He swiped his nose and folded his arms and I couldn’t help but be impressed at just how good this brain slug was at being Dr. Cox. “It’s great that you took a look down that pair of scrubs and found that pair of testicles you’ve been waiting to drop your entire life but today is not the day to test me.”
It took all my strength not to pee myself right there. “Dr. Cox, can you please leave me with my patient.”
I was going to die. I was going to die right here in a room with Brain Slug Lady and the red-tailed hawk who occasionally can turn into a person. I was going to be killed by the thing possessing my mentor and—
Dr. Cox growled, turning from the room. “To be continued.”
“JD?” Tobias said from behind me. “Just a warning. I called reinforcements.”
“Reinforcements?” I echoed weakly.
A giant monkey ambled out of the stairwell to block Dr. Cox’s path. Dr. Cox, stopped, blinked. I’ll bet that if it was the real Dr. Cox he would have said something like, ‘I see we’ve actually hired an ape instead of just using people who act like one. Will have to commend old Bobbo on his choice.’
What he actually said was, “Andalite scum.”
Definitely not the real Dr. Cox.
{ Yeah, yeah, } grumbled the monkey. { You’re going to grind my bones to make my bread. I’ve heard it all. Can’t you ever come up with anything new? }
He unceremoniously grabbed Dr. Cox by the waist, tossed him over his shoulder and ambled back up the stairs and up to the roof. I gaped after them. How had nobody seen this?
Tobias suddenly appeared beside me, standing just a hair too close. “Huh,” he said. His face was still completely blank. “That went a lot better then it usually does.”
Behind us, there was a soft noise, coughing as Brain Slug Lady started to wake up. I approached her eagerly she looked like she was trying to say something but the tube in her mouth prohibited it. “I need you to cough for me,” I said. “You were in an accident.”
She coughed and I switched into autopilot, informing her about her conditions and checking her vitals. Tobias hovered behind my shoulder, just watching.
“It’s gone,” Brain Slug Lady said hoarsely. “You got it out. Thank you.”
I smiled. “I’ll pass it onto Dr. Turk. He’s the one who did your surgery.”
Brain Slug Lady’s eyes suddenly snagged on Tobias, narrowing with suspicion. “Who are you?”
“I’m your nephew,” Tobias said, glancing quickly to the door to make sure they were alone. “You remember, don’t you?” He leaned in closer to the bed and whispered. “I’m one of the andalite bandits the yeerks want to find so bad. I need your help.”
Brain Slug Lady gave me a quick glance. I guess she trusted a doctor more then she trusted the kid. I didn’t know what an andalite bandit was, but it was fun to say. Andalite, andalite, andalite. “It’s all right,” I said calmly. “We’ll keep you safe. I promise.”
In my head Dr. Cox was hissing you never promise patients they’re going to be find when they might be. We tell them odds look good but we never promise. Then the entire situation hit me all at once.
A truck slammed into my scooter, Sasha while I was crossing an intersection. I went flying. The truck pulled to a stop beside me and a guy with a giant slug for a head crowed, “You can’t handle the truth!”
I swallowed. “We’re going to need a lot of salt.”
Brain Slug Lady gave me a look. Tobias’s face remained completely blank. “JD,” he said. “My friends are going to be holding him on the roof until we figure something out.”
I nodded, grabbing Brain Slug Lady’s chart. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
In a daze, I walked over to the nurse’s station and walked up to Carla. “My patient’s nephew’s in for a visit. Room 22. If she needs anything, have someone page me.”
The walk to the roof was far longer then I remembered. My hands were shaking as I clenched the handle, and pulled it open, carefully shutting it behind me. And immediately there was knife on my throat.
Only it wasn’t a knife. It was a blade attached to the long blue tail of a four eyed centaur-looking alien.
{ Prince Jake? } The alien said. { Would you like me to dispose of our intruder? }
Oh well, I guess death by alien was a pretty cool way to go one the scale of things. Definitely much better then say, getting killed by the janitor.
{ Chill, Ax. } A new voice said. I didn’t even blink when I noticed the voice came from a tiger prowling out from around the corner. { It’s Tobias’s Doctor friend. JD, right? }
“Yes, Prince Tiger,” I said, giving him a shaky salute.
The tiger shook its head. It was a remarkably human gesture to see from the beast. {Ax, you’ve really got to stop with this Prince thing. }
{ Of course, Prince Jake. }
“I’m sorry Mr. Tiger, sir,” I said. “But a giant monkey grabbed my brain slug possessed mentor up here and I was just trying to follow up.”
{ The controller, } said a wolf from somewhere behind the tiger. { We haven’t decided what to do with him yet. }
{ May I suggest that termination might be the most expedient measure? }
The wolf sounded completely horrified. {We can’t just kill him! There’s a human being in there! Just once this year, I’d like to actually save someone. }
The gorilla was lurking over next to a surprisingly frail looking, very unconscious Dr. Cox. “I know he’s one of the bad guys now,” I stammered. “But come on, there’s got to be something we can do to get the real Dr. Cox back! Don’t you have any superpowers we could us?”
{ This guy is an idiot. } The gorilla said, picking something off of Dr. Cox’s curls.
{ Jake, } A grizzly bear said, lumbering out from around the water tower. { Whatever they’ve got planned, we might not have three days to waste. Besides, someone’s going to notice he’s missing. }
{ If you say let’s do it, } the gorilla said, { I swear to God I will kill you. }
“No one will notice!” I said. “I promise! I can cover for Dr. Cox for three days! I can make sure no one comes up here. It will work. What’s the thing with three days?”
{ Three days without going to a yeerk pool and the thing dies, } the wolf said. { And it’s probably not even three days at this point. It might be less then one. You don’t know. }
The door to the roof swung open behind me and the suddenly movement startled me so much that I slipped and toppled forward. Blue alien guy caught me with his tail, bringing me down into an elegant dip that threatened to send me into a fantasy about tangos until he let me go and I dropped the rest of the way to the ground. I winced, rubbing my elbow. “You would get along well with the janitor.”
{ Who is this janitor he speaks of? }
“Forget it, Ax,” Tobias said from behind me. “We’ve got bigger things to worry about.”
{ What’s up, Bird Boy? }
Tobias tilted his head vaguely skyward, looking far more comfortable up here then he did inside. “The yeerks are looking to implant a new pool under a hospital. You know, you come in with appendicitis and leave with a yeerk in your head.”
“There are more of them coming?” I yelped. “Here? If there’s an epidemic, we need to quarantine the hospital!”
{ Yeah, } the gorilla said. { You trying telling the average person that you need to quarantine the parasitic invaders and see how fast they put you in a straight jacket. }
“They’re not coming here,” Tobias said. “They’re looking to do it at County. The lady just ended up here by mistake. I think we’ve actually got some time on this one.”
“But isn’t there something we can do now?” I protested.
{ You need to act like nothing’s wrong, } the tiger said. I was starting to suspect that he was the leader of this alien fighting circus. { We’ll be taking care of the rest. Promise. We’ve been doing this for a while and considering we’re all still alive, I’d say we’re pretty good at it. Ax, you and Tobias stay here with the controller. We not killing him and we can’t exactly let him go when he’s still got a yeerk in his head. }
I wondered if it was inappropriate to kiss a tiger. More importantly, I wondered if he’d eat me if I tried. “You mind heading back to work, JD?” Tobias asked, staring at the sky. “I’d really like to get back to stretching my wings.”
“So you can just turn into a bird whenever you want?”
{ We are being too forward with the human, } the blue guy interjected. { Must I stress that we are supposed to remain covert? }
“Technically, I’m a bird that can turn into a person,” Tobias said with a grimace that I think was supposed to be a smile. “Don’t ask.”
“Right,” I said, turning back to the stairs. Even my daydreams weren’t usually this crazy.
The tiger’s voice followed me down, echoing in my head. { Don’t let anyone up here and you’ll have your doctor back before you know it. }
________________________________________________________________________
It was easier then it should have been. I covered Dr. Cox’s patients. I got Elliot to convince the Janitor to stand guard outside the roof. I talked with Brain Slug Lady. I fended off Turk’s questions and for the most part, Chocolate Bear seemed happy to pretend he’d never seen a brain slug or a talking hawk. When Dr. Kelso asked, I told him Dr. Cox and Jordan were on a spontaneous romantic getaway and I was covering for him. When Jordan asked, I pleaded ignorance and suggested that Dr. Cox had been abducted by aliens. I snuck up to visit the possessed Cox and couldn’t really shake the heebie jeebies about the whole thing, so I left him in the care of Tobias and his friend, the blue centaur alien.
And then finally, when I was ready to either have myself committed or pass out in exhaustion, Tobias appeared outside the Brain Slug Lady’s window. { JD, } he said. { Your friend’s back. Me and Ax are headed out before some figures us out. Besides, I really need to find a hunt. }
“Tobias,” I said, looking out the window. “Thank you.”
{ Don’t mention it. }
Then, just like that, it was over. I felt the stress of the last few days leeching out of my body as I smiled at the sleeping Brain Slug Lady and sprinted up to the roof. Dr. Cox was sitting pressed up against the water tower and wiggling his fingers slowly like it was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. I cleared my throat and his head snapped up, an oddly crazy look on his unshaven face. “Dr. Cox?” I asked tentatively.
“Ivy,” Dr. Cox greeted with shaking voice. “You know it took you damn well long enough to know it wasn’t me. How the hell did you manage to buy a replacement for two months?”
“Two months?” I croaked. He’d been like this two months and I hadn’t noticed, hadn’t suspected a thing. And if the brain slug had been that convincing with someone as unique as Dr. Cox, how was I supposed to tell? How was I supposed to know?
“I was in there the whole time,” Dr. Cox said. “Just trying to get it to slip up. You know, chanting JD when it was trying to call you Betsy. Got it to slip around a few other people, but you were the only one who noticed.” He went back to staring at his hands and then, very quietly he added, “Thanks, kid.”
Tentatively, I crept over and sat down next to him. Staring up at a dark shape swirling in the dying sun that I could only assume was Tobias. “This changes everything doesn’t it,” I said finally.
Dr. Cox was quiet for a long moment and then he said, “Newbie, this doesn’t change a damn thing. Sure there are evil brain stealing aliens but there are still people downstairs sick and dying regardless of any intergalactic wars. And damn it, we’re still going to do our jobs.”
“Yeah,” I said, looking up at the stars. “You’re right.”
“I’m always right, Newbie. It’s part of my god-like power. Now I’m not saying we do nothing. If we suspect an outbreak of something like SARS or bird flu a few times, we might get lucky and starve a few yeerks out of their bodies but we just can’t save them all.”
I nodded and then, impulsively, I reached over to give Dr. Cox a hug. He growled at me and didn’t move his arms. I pulled back. “Too much?”
Dr. Cox swiped at his nose, stood up abruptly, stalked to the stairway and pulled it open with a single decisive tug. “Alien invasion or not, Newbie, no touching rule is still firmly in effect.
I think that might be my favorite thing about working here. Sometimes, even though everything changes, nothing really does at all.
(end)
Rating: PG
Timeframe: Sometime in Scrubs season six. No real spoilers outside the basic premise for Animorphs.
Summary: So Turk just extracted a brain slug from a patient, JD’s being stalked by a red-tailed hawk and Cox has been acting a little different. Not exactly your average day at Sacred Heart. [Crossover with Animorphs]
Disclaimer: I own nothing from either of the shows. This is for fun, not profit.
Author's Note: HTML doesn't like standard thought speak format. Instead, I've elected to use these: { }
Here’s the thing about life at the hospital--the patients, the people, the work—after a while it all starts to seem the same. And even when out of the ordinary things start to happen, sometimes it takes us a little while to notice.
I caught up with Turk when he was coming out of surgery trying to get to our customary two AM second cup of joe break. We were both nearing the middle of our long nights on call and neither of us had a chance to catch some shut-eye. My pneumonia patient had taken a turn for the worse and Turk was coming off a long surgery, one that hadn’t gone well. I could see the slightly panicked, ‘something big bad and bloody just went down’ look on his face, but unfortunately my brain couldn’t comprehend human speech before consumption of my caramel mocha latte.
“And I’m telling you, dude. She had a freaking slug wrapped around her brain.”
Stop, blink. Rewind.
“She had a what now, Chocolate Bear?”
“A slug,” Turk repeated. “Wrapped around her brain. We had to cut the thing out to get to the good stuff. There should not be bugs in people, dude. What kind of freaky ass parasite latches on to the brain?”
“Well,” I said, “Maybe it could have been—“
“JD,” Turk interrupted me, “If brain slugs commonly latch onto people’s brains, PLEASE don’t tell me.”
“Sure thing, CB!” I said and then drifted up and off thinking about why a parasite might attack the brain...
The evil fiendishly bearded brain slug cackled with maniac glee as I tried to go about narration of the day’s activities and I could’t. The slug kept eating all the words.
Turk poked me in the side. “JD. JD! You know you’re not allow to go off like that when I’m having a work related freak out!”
I adopted Kong-fu position number twenty-seven. “I will not let you eat my inner monologue!”
“No one wants to eat your inner monologue,” Turk said soothingly. He’s a good friend. “What I want is to find out why there was a slug wrapped around this lady’s brain.”
We were headed back into the hospital. The customary two AM second cup of joe break only ever lasted seconds. Nights on call were always more interesting then you thought they were going to be. Even on a slow night there was always plenty of work.
Tonight was not a slow night.
Dr. Cox’s whistle pierced the air and I turned so fast I almost spilled all my coffee. Turk said, “Dude, Pavlov!”
I was not a trained dog, damn it!
Dr. Cox whistled again. Louder this time. “Newbie, come.”
Screw it, I was so a trained dog. But then again when Dr. Cox whistled like that, all mere mortals were forced to obey. It wasn’t not just me. Only... it sort of was. Dr. Cox didn’t really pull out the whistle for anyone but me. Maybe he used to, but I was the only one who jumped to obey anymore.
Dr. Cox tucked a battered old whistle into my hands. “This is your whistle. I want you to keep it close to your heart when I’m gone. Promise me you’ll wait for me?”
He slung an old brown sack over his shoulder. He was dressed like one of those old Civil War soldiers with dirty brown slacks, an equally dirty cap and a musket at his side.
I was wearing a dress.
Damn it! He’d infected my psyche! I was even a girl in my daydreams!
There was the whistle again. I snapped back to reality without even a second thought.
“Dear God, Rochelle, I know it’s getting close to prom and all the good boys are taken but gosh, I’m sure the right guy will sweep you off your feet with half a dozen roses and daddy’s borrowed car, but in the meantime can we step back and remember that you’re supposed to be a doctor? People’s lives depend on you! I mean for God’s sake, JD—“
He kept going, but my brain had come to a screeching halt. JD. Dr. Cox just called me JD. Dr. Cox never called me JD. Oh God, someone must have died. Or worse, maybe he was dying! Or maybe he’d finally decided he cares about me after all and is tired of putting up such a—
“What have I told you about drifting off into space when I’m talking to you, Dixie? Did you even hear a word I said?”
“No,” I replied before my brain could remind me just how bad an idea that was. “Not a word.”
Dr. Cox growled.
I squeaked.
Robocox had me in his sights. I couldn’t move because he had my trapped in his tractor beam. “Exterminate!” Dr. Cox bellowed.
“Wait!” I pleaded.
He didn’t wait. Red lasers shot out of his eyes and my head blew up and splattered the floor in blotchy red pieces. The janitor sidled over, leaning on his mop. “Hey!” he said, mildly annoyed. “I had dibs on Scooter!”
“I wonder if he would clean the floor?”
Dr. Cox swiped at his nose, snarled again and then stalked off in the distance, his white lab coat swirling back behind him. I blinked. I was still alive. That was weird. No rant, no girls names.
“Bambi!”
“Carla!” I trotted over to the nurse’s station. “Carla! I think there’s something wrong with Dr. Cox!”
Carla snorted. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Bambi, but there’s always something wrong with Dr. Cox. Don’t worry about it.”
“But he called me JD!” I said. “Right in the middle of a rant!”
“Believe it or not, Dr. Cox does know your actual name.”
“He’s called me JD once to my face. Once. In six years. I think there might really be something wrong.”
“JD,” Carla said tightly. She wasn’t supposed to be here today but two other nurses had called in sick and she’d been the only one available to take up the slack. Between the job and Izzy, she wasn’t someone to mess with. “You’ve drawn the extra patient. She just got back from surgery.”
“Brain Slug Lady!” I cried, snatching the chart from Carla. I shouldn’t be this excited. The patient had been involved in a hit and run that left her with abnormal swelling in the brain. They’d had to do surgery to relieve the pressure and in the process they had discovered the bizarre gray slug wrapped around her brain. I frowned “The only kind of brain parasite I can think of is Toxoplasma gondii, but they’re protozoa not brain slugs and they don’t even present major symptoms. If it’s not T. gondii., we’re lucky we found it. Who knows what it could have been doing to her.”
“She’s not that lucky,” Carla said. “You only found it because she came in with major head trauma. She was in a hit and run. I don’t know about you but I’d rather walk around with a slung in my head then get—“ she paused, curling her lips in disgust. “Wait, no I wouldn’t. This is too gross for me.”
Brain Slug Lady hadn’t regained consciousness. I went into her room and checked her vitals hoping to find some sort of clue to why she had a freaking brain slug. My pager beeped. I glanced down. Mr. Stokes was coding. I took off at a run.
And it seemed like I was running for the rest of the night. It had been a while since we’d had a night this busy. Usually I managed to catch at least an hour of sleep in the on call room, but tonight I barely managed to catch ten minutes. I didn’t even get a chance to check back on Brain Slug Lady who had thankfully managed to remain stable for the entirety of the night.
I made my escape at five AM during the only slow moment of the night. I yawned as I mounted my scooter, Sasha, and made my way back to my half-acre.
It was still mostly dark and the roads for the most part were empty. I was having a hard time staying awake and it was probably a sign of my exhaustion that I was suddenly absolutely positive I was being watched. When I stopped at the stoplight, I glanced over my shoulder expecting to see either a car or a pedestrian or a giant killer robot or something.
What I saw was a bird. A very large bird with a pretty red tail eyeing me with sinister yellow eyes. Which was more then slightly worrisome considering I was pretty sure that that kind of bird tended to hunt in the day. I turned my eyes back to the road. Sleep deprived hallucinations. Never a good sign.
I made it to my half acre and chained up Sasha, thankful that the old Queens had left my deck for greener pastures. I unzipped my tent, eager to pull out my sleeping back and crash when I chanced another look behind me.
The hawk was there, staring at me from the roof of the house across the street. That was weird. And possibly really bad news.
The Janitor held out an arm and allowed the bird to flutter onto it. “All right there, Birdie,” he said. “Remember our plan. Corner him while he sleeps and go for the eyes.”
I shook myself out of the fantasy. “The janitor will not have my eyes for trophies!”
I zipped the tent all the way up before rolling out my sleeping bag. I’m pretty sure most hawks can’t work zippers with their beaks.
Sleep passed in the blink of an eye and when I woke up, the sun was casting strange shadows through my tent. I rubbed at my eyes, rolled over, unzipped my tent door and checked outside.
The bird was still there, closer now. It was perched on the edge of my deck rather then the house across the street. I zipped the tent shut again in a panic and pulled out my phone to text for reinforcements:
CB. Am being stalked by a bird. HELP.
I wait anxiously for four whole minutes before I get the reply: Am not falling 4 that again.
Curse last week’s prank! When will I learn that trained doves weren’t worth the effort?
I peeked out of my tent, eyeing the hawk. “I know you’ve been following me,” I said, completely forgetting that it was you know, insane to talk to birds. “I’ve got my eye on you, Birdie.”
{ Birdie? } echoed a voice that really didn’t sound like the voice usually living in my head. { He did not just call me a birdie. }
My eyes widened. I was being stalked by a talking bird. I was being stalked by a talking bird and last night Dr. Cox had called me JD and had the entire world going crazy or was it just me?
“You can talk,” I said dumbly.
{ Crap, } the bird said. {You heard that?} He waited for my ensuing nod. { Jake is going to kill me. }
“Is Jake your pigeon leader?”
I got the very distinct image of a bird rolling its eyes at me in response. { First of all, I’m a red-tailed hawk. You can call me Tobias. If you call me a birdie again, I will have polar bears attack you in your sleep. That is not a joke. }
Don’t think of being eaten by polar bears. Don’t think of being eaten by polar bears. Don’t think of being eaten by polar bears. Crap! Stupid brain. Quick say something to the distract from the images!
“Why are you following me?”
I suddenly got a very weird mental image of a hawk trying to shrug. { Look,} Tobias said. { This is all going to sound completely insane but, we really need your help. }
“I’m talking to a red-tailed hawk, it really can’t get much worse then that.”
I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. { Fine. We need your help fighting off an alien invasion. }
Awesome! Aliens are totally real! I mentally did a little dance. Turk totally owed me twenty dollars. You know, if he accepted a talking red-tailed hawk as a credible source. I didn’t know why he wouldn’t...
{ Are you OK, man? }
“Peachy,” I said, clearing my throat. “Alien invasion, huh? What do these guys look like? Are they little gray men because I always thought it would be way cooler if they had lots and lots of tentacles.”
{ They’re called yeerks, } Tobias said, an oddly serious note creeping into his mental voice. I shuttered involuntarily. { They crawl in through the ear canal and wrap themselves around your brain. Once a yeerk gets into you, there’s nothing you can do. Every thought, every word, every action, they control it all. The worst part is no one notices a thing. }
“Evil brain slug,” I muttered.
Tobias stopped mid-explanation. { Wait, you know this part already? }
“There was a brain slug yesterday. They removed it when they were operating on this lady’s brain.”
{ We’ve been following her for weeks now! The yeerks are planning something big and she’s involved. }
“That’s why you need my help,” I realized. “You want me to get you in to see her.”
It turned out to be a little more complicated then that. Mainly because there were these supposed Controllers that had infiltrated the world and if the controllers knew Brain Slug Lady was currently yeerkless bad things would go down. Possibly involving bigger, more threatening aliens, which Tobias informed me was way more scary then cool.
So, operation Help the Talking Bird Save the Planet. Part A was getting Turk to keep the brain slug thing under wraps. And it was in full swing.
“Um, Turk?” I said, sidling up to him. “This is going to sound really, really strange, but you know how I told you I was being stalked by a red-tailed hawk?” I wait for Turks nod before taking a deep breath. “I wasn’t kidding.”
“A red tailed hawk?” Turk asked. “Seriously? What do you think the janitor took up bird training just to torment you?”
“I considered it,” I answered. “But then it started talking to me.”
“JD,” Turk said seriously, laying a hand on my shoulder. “Does it tell you to do things? Because I know you have some crazy day dreams but they aren’t supposed to be little birdies who talk back.”
“His name is Tobias,” I said gesturing to the window. “And he really doesn’t like being called a birdie.”
Tobias was hovering just outside the window. Turk’s eyes practically bugged out of their sockets. Hmmm....
Turk’s jaw dropped abruptly as both eyes popped out of their sockets, rolling across the floor before coming to a halt against my shoe. I bent over, picked one up and popped one into my mouth.
“Jelly filled eyeballs,” I muttered thoughtfully.
“Dude,” Turk said slowly. “You remember how badly the trained doves turned out, right? What the hell made you think a hawk was going to be any better?”
“He’s a talking hawk, not a trained hawk,” I clarified. “Say hi, Tobias.”
{ Hey, } Tobias said.
“Dude,” Turk said.
I smiled. Part A was practically a guaranteed success.
Part B was all in Turk’s court. He went down to the lab and managed to help Franklin misplace the brain slug specimen. He talked with the other surgeons on the team so he could convince them that the brain slug incident had never happened. I didn’t know how he planned to convince them of a mass hallucination, but I trust my CB.
My part of the plan, part C, was far more complicated. Somehow, I was supposed to sneak the hawk into the building so he could interview Brain Slug Lady. Last I checked, Kelso was highly against birds in the hospital so it was going to be a pretty tough job.
There was a rapping at the door. I looked over to see a scrawny looking kid with floppy dark blonde hair and an army surplus wardrobe. He was only about fifteen, but he looked like he’d been through a war. “Hey,” he said, just a little thickly. “They told me I could come see my aunt. He name’s Mary Becker? This is the room, right?”
I glanced down at Brain Slug Lady’s chart. “We didn’t know she had any family,” I said.
“It’s just me,” the kid said. “She’s been looking after me for a long time.”
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. There was something weird about this kid. Maybe it was the way he didn’t seem quite comfortable with speaking or the way his face didn’t seem capable of making any expression or maybe how he kept glancing toward the window as if planning a great escape. “What’s your name, kid?”
“Oh,” the kid said. “It’s Tobias. Tobias Becker.”
It took me a second, but I’d heard that voice before and I knew where. The hawk. I started at the kid. “This is going to sound crazy,” I told him. “But aren’t you a bird?”
The kid didn’t even blink. “Only most of the time.”
Right. I was talking to a person who was usually a bird and just so happened to be one of the people responsible for a fighting an all out war against the brain slug invaders. That was completely normal. “You might want to pull up a chair,” I said. “It could be a while.”
Tobias didn’t give me any sign of affirmation, but took the suggestion with a slightly clumsy hand and sat beside the Brain Slug Lady, staring at her with hawkish intensity. I absently flipped through her chart. I was going to need to accidentally lose the part about the brain slug sometime down the line...
A quick series of whistles invaded my consciousness as Dr. Cox strode into the room. Tobias looked up at the newcomer with the barest hint of curiosity. “Heard you had a tough one here, Newbie,” he said.
My grip on the chart tightened just a little. “I’m doing fine. I don’t need any help.”
“Daytona, you always need my help, now hand it over.”
I reluctantly parted with the Brain Slug Lady’s chart. Dr. Cox flipped through it quickly, and shook his head. “You can’t figure this one out, Newbie? Come on, put that squishy pink thing that resides in your cranium to use. Asides from the obvious head trauma, the lady was obviously suffering from acute toxoplasmosis. JD, you know this.”
It wasn’t just the name this time. Something was wrong. Dr. Cox never made mistakes like this. “Dr. Cox,” I said cautiously. “There’s no way she was suffering from acute toxoplasmosis. That only present in cases where the immune system is already weak. She doesn’t have AIDs. She hasn’t been on chemo. She doesn’t have swollen lymph nodes.” I swallowed. “You’re wrong about this one.”
Behind me, Tobias was watching Cox with a gaze that strongly resembled his other body. { JD, } he told me mentally. { I think your friend there is a controller. }
I knew it! Well I didn’t actually know he had an evil brain slug controlling his ever movement, but still! No way normal Cox ever called me JD without someone dying. I almost started doing my JD Was Right victory dance right there in Brain Slug Lady’s room and then I remembered:
Oh crap. Dr. Cox was possessed by an evil brain slug bent on world domination.
Double crap!
“Shirley,” the brain slug said in Cox’s I’m Going to Rant at You Now voice. He swiped his nose and folded his arms and I couldn’t help but be impressed at just how good this brain slug was at being Dr. Cox. “It’s great that you took a look down that pair of scrubs and found that pair of testicles you’ve been waiting to drop your entire life but today is not the day to test me.”
It took all my strength not to pee myself right there. “Dr. Cox, can you please leave me with my patient.”
I was going to die. I was going to die right here in a room with Brain Slug Lady and the red-tailed hawk who occasionally can turn into a person. I was going to be killed by the thing possessing my mentor and—
Dr. Cox growled, turning from the room. “To be continued.”
“JD?” Tobias said from behind me. “Just a warning. I called reinforcements.”
“Reinforcements?” I echoed weakly.
A giant monkey ambled out of the stairwell to block Dr. Cox’s path. Dr. Cox, stopped, blinked. I’ll bet that if it was the real Dr. Cox he would have said something like, ‘I see we’ve actually hired an ape instead of just using people who act like one. Will have to commend old Bobbo on his choice.’
What he actually said was, “Andalite scum.”
Definitely not the real Dr. Cox.
{ Yeah, yeah, } grumbled the monkey. { You’re going to grind my bones to make my bread. I’ve heard it all. Can’t you ever come up with anything new? }
He unceremoniously grabbed Dr. Cox by the waist, tossed him over his shoulder and ambled back up the stairs and up to the roof. I gaped after them. How had nobody seen this?
Tobias suddenly appeared beside me, standing just a hair too close. “Huh,” he said. His face was still completely blank. “That went a lot better then it usually does.”
Behind us, there was a soft noise, coughing as Brain Slug Lady started to wake up. I approached her eagerly she looked like she was trying to say something but the tube in her mouth prohibited it. “I need you to cough for me,” I said. “You were in an accident.”
She coughed and I switched into autopilot, informing her about her conditions and checking her vitals. Tobias hovered behind my shoulder, just watching.
“It’s gone,” Brain Slug Lady said hoarsely. “You got it out. Thank you.”
I smiled. “I’ll pass it onto Dr. Turk. He’s the one who did your surgery.”
Brain Slug Lady’s eyes suddenly snagged on Tobias, narrowing with suspicion. “Who are you?”
“I’m your nephew,” Tobias said, glancing quickly to the door to make sure they were alone. “You remember, don’t you?” He leaned in closer to the bed and whispered. “I’m one of the andalite bandits the yeerks want to find so bad. I need your help.”
Brain Slug Lady gave me a quick glance. I guess she trusted a doctor more then she trusted the kid. I didn’t know what an andalite bandit was, but it was fun to say. Andalite, andalite, andalite. “It’s all right,” I said calmly. “We’ll keep you safe. I promise.”
In my head Dr. Cox was hissing you never promise patients they’re going to be find when they might be. We tell them odds look good but we never promise. Then the entire situation hit me all at once.
A truck slammed into my scooter, Sasha while I was crossing an intersection. I went flying. The truck pulled to a stop beside me and a guy with a giant slug for a head crowed, “You can’t handle the truth!”
I swallowed. “We’re going to need a lot of salt.”
Brain Slug Lady gave me a look. Tobias’s face remained completely blank. “JD,” he said. “My friends are going to be holding him on the roof until we figure something out.”
I nodded, grabbing Brain Slug Lady’s chart. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
In a daze, I walked over to the nurse’s station and walked up to Carla. “My patient’s nephew’s in for a visit. Room 22. If she needs anything, have someone page me.”
The walk to the roof was far longer then I remembered. My hands were shaking as I clenched the handle, and pulled it open, carefully shutting it behind me. And immediately there was knife on my throat.
Only it wasn’t a knife. It was a blade attached to the long blue tail of a four eyed centaur-looking alien.
{ Prince Jake? } The alien said. { Would you like me to dispose of our intruder? }
Oh well, I guess death by alien was a pretty cool way to go one the scale of things. Definitely much better then say, getting killed by the janitor.
{ Chill, Ax. } A new voice said. I didn’t even blink when I noticed the voice came from a tiger prowling out from around the corner. { It’s Tobias’s Doctor friend. JD, right? }
“Yes, Prince Tiger,” I said, giving him a shaky salute.
The tiger shook its head. It was a remarkably human gesture to see from the beast. {Ax, you’ve really got to stop with this Prince thing. }
{ Of course, Prince Jake. }
“I’m sorry Mr. Tiger, sir,” I said. “But a giant monkey grabbed my brain slug possessed mentor up here and I was just trying to follow up.”
{ The controller, } said a wolf from somewhere behind the tiger. { We haven’t decided what to do with him yet. }
{ May I suggest that termination might be the most expedient measure? }
The wolf sounded completely horrified. {We can’t just kill him! There’s a human being in there! Just once this year, I’d like to actually save someone. }
The gorilla was lurking over next to a surprisingly frail looking, very unconscious Dr. Cox. “I know he’s one of the bad guys now,” I stammered. “But come on, there’s got to be something we can do to get the real Dr. Cox back! Don’t you have any superpowers we could us?”
{ This guy is an idiot. } The gorilla said, picking something off of Dr. Cox’s curls.
{ Jake, } A grizzly bear said, lumbering out from around the water tower. { Whatever they’ve got planned, we might not have three days to waste. Besides, someone’s going to notice he’s missing. }
{ If you say let’s do it, } the gorilla said, { I swear to God I will kill you. }
“No one will notice!” I said. “I promise! I can cover for Dr. Cox for three days! I can make sure no one comes up here. It will work. What’s the thing with three days?”
{ Three days without going to a yeerk pool and the thing dies, } the wolf said. { And it’s probably not even three days at this point. It might be less then one. You don’t know. }
The door to the roof swung open behind me and the suddenly movement startled me so much that I slipped and toppled forward. Blue alien guy caught me with his tail, bringing me down into an elegant dip that threatened to send me into a fantasy about tangos until he let me go and I dropped the rest of the way to the ground. I winced, rubbing my elbow. “You would get along well with the janitor.”
{ Who is this janitor he speaks of? }
“Forget it, Ax,” Tobias said from behind me. “We’ve got bigger things to worry about.”
{ What’s up, Bird Boy? }
Tobias tilted his head vaguely skyward, looking far more comfortable up here then he did inside. “The yeerks are looking to implant a new pool under a hospital. You know, you come in with appendicitis and leave with a yeerk in your head.”
“There are more of them coming?” I yelped. “Here? If there’s an epidemic, we need to quarantine the hospital!”
{ Yeah, } the gorilla said. { You trying telling the average person that you need to quarantine the parasitic invaders and see how fast they put you in a straight jacket. }
“They’re not coming here,” Tobias said. “They’re looking to do it at County. The lady just ended up here by mistake. I think we’ve actually got some time on this one.”
“But isn’t there something we can do now?” I protested.
{ You need to act like nothing’s wrong, } the tiger said. I was starting to suspect that he was the leader of this alien fighting circus. { We’ll be taking care of the rest. Promise. We’ve been doing this for a while and considering we’re all still alive, I’d say we’re pretty good at it. Ax, you and Tobias stay here with the controller. We not killing him and we can’t exactly let him go when he’s still got a yeerk in his head. }
I wondered if it was inappropriate to kiss a tiger. More importantly, I wondered if he’d eat me if I tried. “You mind heading back to work, JD?” Tobias asked, staring at the sky. “I’d really like to get back to stretching my wings.”
“So you can just turn into a bird whenever you want?”
{ We are being too forward with the human, } the blue guy interjected. { Must I stress that we are supposed to remain covert? }
“Technically, I’m a bird that can turn into a person,” Tobias said with a grimace that I think was supposed to be a smile. “Don’t ask.”
“Right,” I said, turning back to the stairs. Even my daydreams weren’t usually this crazy.
The tiger’s voice followed me down, echoing in my head. { Don’t let anyone up here and you’ll have your doctor back before you know it. }
It was easier then it should have been. I covered Dr. Cox’s patients. I got Elliot to convince the Janitor to stand guard outside the roof. I talked with Brain Slug Lady. I fended off Turk’s questions and for the most part, Chocolate Bear seemed happy to pretend he’d never seen a brain slug or a talking hawk. When Dr. Kelso asked, I told him Dr. Cox and Jordan were on a spontaneous romantic getaway and I was covering for him. When Jordan asked, I pleaded ignorance and suggested that Dr. Cox had been abducted by aliens. I snuck up to visit the possessed Cox and couldn’t really shake the heebie jeebies about the whole thing, so I left him in the care of Tobias and his friend, the blue centaur alien.
And then finally, when I was ready to either have myself committed or pass out in exhaustion, Tobias appeared outside the Brain Slug Lady’s window. { JD, } he said. { Your friend’s back. Me and Ax are headed out before some figures us out. Besides, I really need to find a hunt. }
“Tobias,” I said, looking out the window. “Thank you.”
{ Don’t mention it. }
Then, just like that, it was over. I felt the stress of the last few days leeching out of my body as I smiled at the sleeping Brain Slug Lady and sprinted up to the roof. Dr. Cox was sitting pressed up against the water tower and wiggling his fingers slowly like it was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. I cleared my throat and his head snapped up, an oddly crazy look on his unshaven face. “Dr. Cox?” I asked tentatively.
“Ivy,” Dr. Cox greeted with shaking voice. “You know it took you damn well long enough to know it wasn’t me. How the hell did you manage to buy a replacement for two months?”
“Two months?” I croaked. He’d been like this two months and I hadn’t noticed, hadn’t suspected a thing. And if the brain slug had been that convincing with someone as unique as Dr. Cox, how was I supposed to tell? How was I supposed to know?
“I was in there the whole time,” Dr. Cox said. “Just trying to get it to slip up. You know, chanting JD when it was trying to call you Betsy. Got it to slip around a few other people, but you were the only one who noticed.” He went back to staring at his hands and then, very quietly he added, “Thanks, kid.”
Tentatively, I crept over and sat down next to him. Staring up at a dark shape swirling in the dying sun that I could only assume was Tobias. “This changes everything doesn’t it,” I said finally.
Dr. Cox was quiet for a long moment and then he said, “Newbie, this doesn’t change a damn thing. Sure there are evil brain stealing aliens but there are still people downstairs sick and dying regardless of any intergalactic wars. And damn it, we’re still going to do our jobs.”
“Yeah,” I said, looking up at the stars. “You’re right.”
“I’m always right, Newbie. It’s part of my god-like power. Now I’m not saying we do nothing. If we suspect an outbreak of something like SARS or bird flu a few times, we might get lucky and starve a few yeerks out of their bodies but we just can’t save them all.”
I nodded and then, impulsively, I reached over to give Dr. Cox a hug. He growled at me and didn’t move his arms. I pulled back. “Too much?”
Dr. Cox swiped at his nose, stood up abruptly, stalked to the stairway and pulled it open with a single decisive tug. “Alien invasion or not, Newbie, no touching rule is still firmly in effect.
I think that might be my favorite thing about working here. Sometimes, even though everything changes, nothing really does at all.
(end)
